Letter to my twin little hearts on their second birthday

To My Little Hearts,

It was your 2nd birthday a week ago, and now it has started to hit me. You’re already 2. I know there are still a few more years for you to be full-fledged KIDS when you will be no longer “little”. I mean, technically you’re still only about 10kgs, wear diapers, look for me for poop but big enough to walk around and turn our home sweet home to a crazy nest.

But soon you will be tall enough to ride your bicycle well without my help, ride the big kid rides at the waterpark, zip up your jackets and eat your meals well. You won’t need me every time then. I will miss the cuddles, you crawling into my lap, your own cute language, silly giggles and laughter and much more.

When I look back now, to the time when you were born, those NICU days when I used to shuffle between home and hospital twice a day with my stitched belly just to hug you, feel you closer, touch your tiny fingers, hear your heartbeats and if lucky, get your smile. Spending those nights without you at home was no less than a punishment.

The first year with you was tough, really tough. While juggling between diapers and formulas, I was always worried that I was not able to bond with you like my other singleton mommies were doing with their babies. But soon I realized it was a pointless worry. As the days passed by, those challenges seemed easier and today on your second birthday I feel so accomplished.

Yes, we did it, we made it this far. And we will make the coming future also more beautiful and memorable. I know it’s never going to be easy, as you will grow, there will be other challenges but I’m sure we will together do it.

Today when I see the endless pics and videos that I captured, for your and my memory, it helps me piece together the moments that I stumbled through in a sleep-deprived fog. Gradually it got better with every passing day. The best advice I got from my fellow moms was this phase will pass and I relied upon it. Today it feels it passed in a blink of an eye and I’m already missing my little babies.

And today here we are, you are two. I  feel a bit sad about it because you are my only children and I’ll never experience the little kid moments again. It will be over soon. I can see you are already big in mind and spirit and soon you will be going to the kindergarten, make new friends, learn coloring, crafts and much more, we won’t be together the whole day then. People say I will get some breathe once you are away in school but I know I will feel incomplete, I will miss you. But I’m sure seeing you grow, discover, learn and blossom will be more exciting and worth those hours of separation.

I thank God daily that you will be there for each other today and always, to help each other from any problem, any trouble, when I can’t be there. I feel so relaxed and embrace the feeling that your best friend will always be with you.

You will outgrow my lap one day but never my heart. For me, you will always be my little babies, my little love my little world.