“For those who say having twins is cute, here is a trailer”
Mornings in our house are full of love, kisses, cuddles, tears, promises, and hugs. It looks like a man, well-armed, is going off to the war, kissing and hugging his kids with a promise to be back soon in the evening. After that last promising hug, my twin toddlers run to the main door to see off their Superman and taking the last glimpse as he heroically drives off to his job. And then starts the real game as they turn back to me as if to say, “So what’s the plan…it’s just you and us again Mommy“.
After washing and dressing them well, I enforce breakfast rules, serve them and beg them to eat and let me have my tea in peace. Yes, I successfully finish my “cold tea” (it’s a special tea only for mothers) after reheating it 20 times in an hour and then finally drink it cold in a sip.
My girls are well aware of the fact that work-out is very important for everyone so they make sure Mommy is not just sitting leisurely and sipping her tea. They start all their demands while I struggle to fuel myself for the action-packed day. Breakfast is the perfect time for them to pee, poop, spilling corn flakes all over, asking for the toy which they no longer play with and Mommy has dumped it in the storage and keep crying their lungs out until the neighbors come and frown at us.
Then comes another project of making the bed and cleaning the overnight cluttered house. Poor Mommy doesn’t know beds are not just for sleeping but also they make the best jumping ground. They jump, jump and jump until one of them hurt themselves and come to me crying. Restart jumping after 5 mins of a comforting hug from Mom.
Around noon, when it’s their time to take a nap, I feel so accomplished that half-day is gone and as soon as I start fantasizing about my coffee, they would start another drama. All their fights will come to an end and all of a sudden they will become the best of friends who want to talk, talk, talk and giggle while I try to make them sleep. Bribe game comes to my rescue then and as they doze off, I feel like the highness for two hours.
These two hours, I behave like a tip-toed thief in my own house who fears to be caught up again by the little hands. So, I quickly grab my lunch, coffee, and laptop and start picking up my office assignments. A little sound from their room before their two hours nap sounds the scariest thing in the world to me.
By the time, girls get up, it’s already evening and only a few hours left for our Superhero to return from work. We eat, we sing, we read, we play, we dance, we cry, we fight in these 3 hours until I finally give up and put on their cartoon for some time so that I can cook and we can have something in the dinner.
And that’s when the Papa’s court begins: “Enough girls” – no more splashing water and eating anywhere except the dining table.”
“Quietttttttttttt now – no more shouting and sword fights, sit in different corners.”
“That’s it – Put on your hairbands and wear pajamas and look like a human.” “No more cartoons now!!! etc. etc. etc.
Sometimes these laws and orders are manageable because it’s evening and we have two more working hands around. But what to do when he is at work and I have to deal with the two of them? When I need to cook, eat, feed them, finish endless stuff and at the same time keep them away from killing each other. I find myself struggling with these Papas’ rules.
On one hand, being a better parent than me, I want that he should also have a say in things. I definitely don’t want to challenge his authority and chop him off at the knees. But, on the other, I can’t live up to these rules that he puts in place in anger. These are momentary and not feasible for our family. I feel he is secretly planning to ruin my life dropping some new rules like a grenade.
Making him feel less important is rarely an effective strategy for success, it has never worked in the past so I try to look at the things from his perspective. I try really hard to understand his rule book. He is an Engineer by profession and his instinct is to come up with a solution to any problem. He tries to fix everything in place. But with two hyperactive toddlers at home, can anything be really fixed at its place?
We repeat this process for the full week until finally the most awaited day, Saturday hits and we fall into our weekend routine with an extra set of hands. We do breakfast, lunch, errands together and something fun as a family as Daddy dear is home and not just bossy and boring Mommy, we eventually hit a bump in the shopping mall for weekly shopping.
Being the single point of contact in my Organization, I always have a lot on my plate which I try to finish during their afternoon nap and in the night once they are in their dreamland. It’s often chaotic but we are consistent in our routines to keep us sane and alive. As the day ends and we tuck our minions to bed, we hug and congratulate each other for surviving one more day successfully.