A few months back there was a #10yearchallenge where people were posting their “before and after” pictures. It was about the transition in their looks. Though I didn’t participate in the challenge, it made me ponder how I evolved during this course of time, not in looks but a person as a whole. And how my relationship with my husband evolved. From friends to lovers, from better halves to parents. From black hair to silvers, India to Poland. Jagjit Singh and Diljeet Dosanjh to Peekaboo and Baby shark, life changed to every possible extent. Today, when I look back to the decade just gone by, a sea of emotions run through my mind. The last 10 years were, by far the most eventful years of my life. It was a decade of many firsts, highs, and lows, realizations, and transitions. So, here’s a sneak peek of the same:
The newlywed me, flaunting my Chooda (maroon and white ivory bangles) started marital life with the man of my dreams, in Bangalore. Love was in the air and the “mushy couple”, as everyone called us, were into each other as if no one else existed in the universe. Together, we made our cozy nest and behind the closed doors and windows, we hummed, “Ye tera ghar ye mera ghar kisiko dekhna ho gar…..”. And I realized Life was blissful.
Life happened and we realized the institution of marriage was not just about romancing and partying but also weekly grocery run and cooking. It was not just about being lovey-dovey but also having tiffs and disagreements. The biggest realization was that this alliance brings with it, a lifetime association with “chakla belan”. This made me realize why Bollywood movies always ended at “Lived happily ever after” note. Why did they never show the later part of the marriage? Also, that “Tum ruthi raho main manata rahun” was so misleading.
This was the year when both of us were climbing the corporate ladder. I was promoted as the Country Head and the husband got a better opportunity that took us to the City Beautiful, Chandigarh. Leaving Bangalore was an emotional decision as we made a lot of memories in this beautiful city but I realized change was the only constant. With new hopes and aspirations, we hummed, “Ankhon me sapne liye ghar se hum chal to diye, jane ye manzil ab le jayegi kahan”.
2011 – 2014
As I had the liberty to work from home, alongside I took up many other assignments. From providing tuitions to unprivileged children to helping them prepare for various entrance exams, from painting classes to teaching craft at an orphanage, I did everything that helped me evolve as a better person. I felt as if I was living in my own bubble so far and there was a lot to be done for the society. It was not a paid service but the amount of satisfaction that brought was priceless. While I was busy in these activities, the doting husband stood by me as a pillar always. And I realized “kisi ki muskurahton pe ho nisaar, jeena isi ka nam hai…”
Life kept moving on and we were busy in our careers and of course the chakla belan at the same time. In all these years, we welcomed many new members in our family and bid goodbye to a few loved ones.
Our worlds came crashing down when my father was diagnosed with a chronic disease. We never envisaged it and were shaken to the core. There was an incessant fear of losing him. Amidst all this, one thing that remained the same was us, “the mushy couple”, laughing and crying together. We stood with our family and sailed through that tough phase together. And I realized, “Family is family”
After fighting with PCOD for years, we heard the best music of our lives – two heartbeats were growing inside me. There was a double addition (edition) in our lives as we welcomed our “double dhamal”, our twincesses M&M. That one moment made us realize how blessed we were. And we hummed, “Mere ghar ayi do nanhi pari”
This year was a roller coaster ride of emotions. I do not know if I label it as the best or worst year of my life. Worst because I lost the most loved person, my father. Best because I got to spend unforgettable last 5 months with him after a decade. Another big change in 2016 was the transition from Chandigarh to Delhi to Lucknow to Poland.
With two infants in tow, days were crazy and nights were sleepless with no support system, friends or family. We looked like zombies. Depression hit me hard and then writing came to my rescue. The husband motivated me to pen my thoughts and it helped me fight depression and cope with the personal loss to some extent. Once again, we sailed the roughest patch of our lives just being together, with each other and for each other. And we realized, “Tera sath hai to mujhe kya kami hai”.
The real game started with our parenting duties and soon we turned ambidextrous and ambipedal. Nursing, feeding, putting them to bed, running after them and refereeing their fights every minute were more challenging than those client meetings and project deliveries. Our days started with “Chanda hai tu, mera suraj hai tu” and ended with “Dangal Dangal”. With one child each in different rooms every night, we would WhatsApp each other, “Soi kya” (Has she slept?)” And we realized, “Twin parenting was double the trouble, double the fun and abhi to party shuru hui hai”.
This was the year of many firsts, as M&M achieved their milestones one by one. The first step, the first word, the first kiss, and many more. They kept learning and with them, us.
With time, came experience and we survived and thrived with our twinadoes. Together, we explored many European countries and planted the seeds of travelers in them. With every successful trip, we gained more confidence and the fun continued.
This was the year when I took writing seriously. A full-time job with writing was not easy but his constant encouragement and a few achievements in blogging, kept me going. And we realized, “Together we can and we will”
Again a year of mixed emotions. I restarted my corporate career and got the best performer award. I birthed my third baby (not biologically, please Nooooo!), published my first ebook, Travel my way. Things were pretty decent at the professional end but on a personal front, life threw me something unexpected and I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. And I realized you can’t serve from an empty pot and self-care was important which I ignored all these years.
Keeping fingers crossed, making some lifestyle changes and with a positive attitude, we bid goodbye to this decade and entered a new one with new dreams to conquer. The husband ensured this too shall pass and asked, “Jab hum honge 60 sal ke aur tum hogi 55 ki, bolo sath nibhaogi na?” and I just nodded 🙂
“This post is a part of ‘DECADE Blog Hop’ #DecadeHop organised by #RRxMM Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul. The Event is sponsored by Glo and co-sponsored by Beyond The Box, Wedding Clap, The Colaba Store and Sanity Daily in association with authors Piyusha Vir and Richa S Mukherjee”