Let him be an individual, a Man…not joru ka ghulam or Mamma’s boy

It was Friday evening and Mihir thought of giving a surprise to Kanika by reaching home early from office. He was very excited to imagine the happiness on her face on seeing him. He planned a movie followed by dinner, already bought the movie tickets which Kanika wanted to see but Mihir was not able to make it as he was occupied in his meetings all that month. He was humming song and driving towards home.

As he rang the doorbell, his mother opened the door and without uttering a single word, went into her room. He could sense something wrong and went upstairs directly to see Kanika and surprise her. Kanika was sobbing in one corner of the room with her parent’s pic in her hand. By now, Mihir was clear that he himself is going to direct a movie that night being the so called Hero and two protagonists. He was agitated as this was not the first time he had to go through all the drama and cool down the situation by a midway solution maintaining a balance between the two ladies in his life. He was stressed and all his excitement and happiness disappeared.

The entire evening was spent in listening to both the parties, settling the matter and giving it a temporary fix. By then, Mihir was quite exhausted physically and mentally. He threw the movie tickets in the dustbin and went to bed empty stomach.

I think this is not only the situation of Mihir. Many of us have seen the same scenario in our families or relatives or friends. Recently, one of my friends was diagnosed with diabetes, despite maintaining good eating habit and exercise too. Reason was stress, depression. He was shuffling between his mom and wife and trying to breathe in a highly suffocating environment.

Why can’t we just treat man as an individual? Why do we always expect him to be a balancer between wife and mother? Why he is always judged? Why? By getting married, is he just going to spend rest of his life in resolving issues between the two? Might as well he remains single and get some peace of mind. Why can’t wives understand that he can’t leave his parents just for her or even he can’t change his attitude towards them just because you want more importance in his life. He still has things to talk to his parents, seek their advice, suggestions, discuss future plans, family, financials and many more. So if you have a mindset to have him around 24/7, please get him some life.

At the same time, why can’t mothers understand that your son is no longer single. He needs time to know and understand his wife more as she is her future. If you expect him to be your good boy all the time, better don’t marry him. He will always be at your service.

We always talk about the ill treatment done with the women in our society but are men not judged or ill treated? If not more, equally? They already have a mental pressure of managing the finances of the family. Can’t we just keep him away from all the unnecessary drama? Why can’t we just understand that by doing all this, we are pestering him and there is a limit to everything. Once that limit is crossed and your man is unable to handle the situation, he looks for peace outside. Love vanishes for both of you –  mom and wife. So, just think about it before it’s too late and we lose our loved ones!