3 years back, a fateful event changed my life. I was angry at myself, on the situation and everyone around. Reason – I was blaming the world for that event. Not vocally but in my heart. My heart was filled with anguish and frustration all the time and that turned me into a rational person. Completely in contrast to what I was.
For a year, I kept cursing and cribbing. I became silent. Got me so much engrossed in work and kids so that there was no time to engage with anyone else. I didn’t leave any scope for anyone in my life. But then, it was affecting me inside out. Moments of loneliness were haunting. And I was not at peace. It was then my husband stepped into my father’ shoes to counsel me. But it was not easy for him also to convince me and make me realize what damage I was doing to myself and my family too.
To add to all this, another incident happened when someone whom I trusted blindly ditched me and all my faith in people and friendship had flown away with the wind. I stopped believing in people. Gradually, it took a toll on my health and I went into depression.
Despite having a beautiful family, lovely kids, a doting husband and supportive family back in India, I was into a bad state of mind. It killed all my creativity and left me like a restless soul.
It was getting too much for me to handle the stress. I realized it was only me who was suffering. I was living in the past only and was not able to enjoy the present. It was then, I introspected. I kept all my reservations aside and gave a serious thought on where I was heading.
It has been a few months now, I am happy in my own little world and the reason is I learned to forgive. I didn’t forget though and I don’t want to as teaches me not to trust someone blindly and reminds me of the mistakes I had made. I have my lessons learned for life.
A big credit goes to my kids also for this change in me. Motherhood teaches you so many things while you try to raise mentally strong kids. When I teach them to say sorry and forgive others, they learn it quickly. When they are upset with me, merely a warm hug melts them, they forgive me and move on. Then why can’t I?
But was that really easy to forgive? For me, No. Honestly, it wasn’t easy at all to let go of the things and forgive all those who hurt me. But I thought of giving it a try. For myself and my family because living with hard feelings was even tougher. It was killing me every moment.
During this transition, I realized that forgiveness transforms you. It makes you a positive person as you get rid of all the negativity and pessimism. I learned to count my blessings and delete those people and emotions from my life instead of holding back the grudges. My chapter with them is over. I forgave them by all my heart and moved on. No looking back, no flashbacks, and no regrets anymore.
As Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”. I follow this principle in my life now and I wish to pass on this lesson to my daughters also that forgiveness is a virtue of the strongest.
“Life is too short to live with grudges, forgive and move on”.
‘I’m Writing Bravely for the Write Tribe Festival of Words – March 2019’
Prompt: One word: Forgive